With an illness such as Alzheimer’s, the most neglected person in the family is often the caregiver. Studies report that 46% of all caregivers are depressed, experience anger, frustration, and helplessness.
The long-term care provided by family members to people with Alzheimer’s disease is a central component of our health care system. At present, about 4.5 million Americans have Alzheimer’s disease, with the number expected to range between 11 and 16 million by 2050. Dementia is now present in 10% of people age 65 and older, and in almost half of people older than 85. As our population ages, many people will be called to serve as caregivers for loved ones affected by Alzheimer’s disease and other dementias.
If you are caring for a mother, father, spouse, or friend with Alzheimer’s disease, you know how challenging, even overwhelming, the task can feel. In a recent issue of the Johns Hopkins Memory Bulletin, medical editor Peter V. Rabins, M.D. shared some frequently asked questions he has received from people caring for loved ones with Alzheimer’s disease.
Q. Why is caregiving for someone with AD or some other dementia so difficult?
A. According to a recent study of caregivers, caregivers for those with Alzheimer’s disease or other dementias provide an average of 47 hours of care per week, compared with 33 hours by caregivers for physically impaired individuals. With Alzheimer’s disease caregiving, unfortunately, the person you are caring for will eventually not know who you are, which makes it extremely difficult to think of your loved one as you once did. On top of that, the loved one may not be able to perform the most basic tasks. He or she may also be argumentative, scream uncontrollably, say improper things, throw items, hit and bite, or wander away from home. All of these inappropriate behaviors will make a caregiver frustrated, annoyed, and extremely angry at times.
Q. When trying to help someone with a dementing illness such as Alzheimer’s -- and not succeeding -- should you try to control your anger?
A. Expressing your anger at the person with Alzheimer’s disease often makes their behavior worse. The illness may make it impossible for him to respond to your anger in a rational way. On the other hand, you may find that it improves a loved one’s behavior when you find other ways to manage both your frustrations and the problems themselves.
The first step in dealing with pent-up anger is to come to understand what you can reasonably expect from a person with Alzheimer’s disease and what is happening to the brain to cause the irritating behavior. If you are not sure whether the person can stop acting the way he does, find out from his doctor or another health professional. It may be possible to change the person’s irritating behavior by changing his environment or his daily routine. However, it can also be reassuring just knowing that unpleasant behavior is the result of the Alzheimer’s disease and that the person cannot control what he is doing any longer.
