Sometimes we experience huge changes in our lives, such as the death of a loved one. These events can cause intense emotional anguish, and grieving during such life changes is a normal and healthy, if painful, process. A recent study from the Journal of the American Medical Association sheds new light on the grieving process.
Grieving often produces a wide range of feelings. The psychological process itself is a means for the mind to adjust, over time, to the acute sorrow of a loss. Grieving also allows us to accept the finality of the loss, to experience a full range of feelings as a result of the loss, and to adjust to our changed lives. The end of grieving does not entail forgetting; rather, it usually comes with the acceptance of our loss.
A recent study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association (Volume 297, page 716) says that the dominant emotional responses for most people after the death of a loved one are acceptance and yearning for the deceased -- not disbelief, as proposed by the traditional stage theory of grief. While the predominant initial reaction is disbelief for those whose loss is due to a sudden, traumatic death, the same is not true for those who lose someone after an extended illness.
Investigators analyzed data on 233 people participating in the Yale Bereavement Study who had lost a spouse (84%) or an adult child, parent, or sibling (16%). They found that disbelief peaked at one month post-loss and then declined. Yearning peaked at four months post-loss, anger at five months post-loss, and depression at six months post-loss. Acceptance of the loss increased throughout the three-year observation period. At all stages, acceptance was greater than disbelief, yearning, anger, or depression. Likewise, yearning was greater than disbelief, anger, or depression, while depression was greater than anger.
Individuals who continue to have negative emotions or experience depression beyond six months after their loss may be having a difficult time adjusting and could benefit from further psychological evaluation.
